Square Pegs

If it is not one thing, then it's another....

The past couple weeks have been really busy and full of surprises.  First off, Gromit had surgery yesterday to biopsy two lumps on his back and I'm glad to report he is on the road to recovery and it seems the lumps were nothing serious.  Although still groggy from the anesthesia, he's doing well.  The incisions are a lot bigger than I thought though and I'm keeping a close eye on him while he recovers since he can be something of a difficult patient...as I quickly learned from his previous 3 surgeries and countless trips to the vet.

He's already enjoying all the time up on the bed though and Madu is keeping him good company during is convalescence.  She doesn't seem interested in getting too close to him, but she stands watch while he's sleeping and makes sure to alert me to even the slightest commotion or noise outside.  She is such a good little pack member!

John was supposed to have gotten underway a couple days ago, but it seems like the there have been so many set-backs since trying to get things rolling with the ship during the past week that it has really thrown a monkey wrench into his chief's pinning ceremony, which it now looks like I'll have to miss.    I've also had to cancel my trip to Japan for various reasons and I'm just going a little crazy with all the last minute stuff popping up!  The one good thing about malfunctions with the ship is that John is still home rather than out at sea, but each morning we have to say goodbye not knowing if he's actually able to leave or not- it has been a little emotionally jarring to say the least!  Just one day at a time I guess!! LOL

September 11th Prayer

As people around the world remember the events of September 11th, here on Guam this year's Chief Selects are participating in the September 11th remembrance ceremony.  I know the events of that horrific day touched everyone differently, so I just wanted to share the prayer prepared by ITC (SEL) Toby Matlock here on Guam in remembrance ;

"Dear Heavenly Father,

We are gathered here on this difficult day to remember for all nations; those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001. Yet, the memories are still painful, we ask you to comfort those who mourn the lost of their love ones on that terrible day.

We pray we might become better a people and help make the world a better place. Thank you for the heroes, who are in distance lands that you will bless and watch over them as they have and are still making sacrifices for a common good for all men, women, and children around the world.

Heavenly Father, heal all those who were hurt and lives broken on that day. May they come to experience your presence and know your peace.

Amen."

Live In the Now...

Ever since I read these words in "Cesar's Way" about the way dogs think, I decided it wasn't a bad tip for humans either!  Although I do my fair share of planning ahead and forecasting, I try to do my best to embrace the moment and not dwell on things I really should be letting go of.

That being said, after about 9 days of this "chief's initiation" that Guam chief selects are being asked to endure, I've been grossly disappointed by the unprofessional conduct and mean-spirited actions of many of the individuals in charge of this year's season.  In this modern day, the Navy is changing and there is simply no place for the "hazing" days of old.  It was decided this year that there would be no physical beatings or punishments, but the mental and emotional abuse is still as prevalent as ever.  It truly makes me feel disgusted that so-called professional adults who are in a leadership role still seem to find pleasure in bullying, harassing, and stroking their own egos at the expense of another person's wellbeing.  While they have now made the induction process optional, those who take a stand against such unprofessional behavior are blacklisted by the chief's mess and wear that shameful "E-7" title rather than being acknowledged as a true chief.  Although it seems that the Navy has always been a little bit behind the times when it comes to enforcing discrimination and harassment laws, strides are being made to improve the overall quality of life for sailors and this kind of antiquated behavior takes steps back rather than forward.  I know not all of the chiefs involved in this year's season agree with the browbeating and bullying, but they are sadly outnumbered by those who desperately cling to the outdated traditions that perpetuate the armed force's reputation for being a bunch of  chest beating apes who are unable to demonstrate true leadership without yelling or resorting to threats and hostility. 

Having spent the past 18 months in almost non-stop study of contemporary motivational techniques for leaders, writing numerous training manuals, and doing case studies on managerial strategies and how to apply them to today's diverse workforce I have been deeply disappointed each day to hear John's account of how he and his fellow selects have been treated.  Less than two weeks ago the group was full of smiles, laughter, and enthusiasm.  In stark contrast the overall feeling is now defeat, resentment, anger, and apathy.  When you start out with a group of highly motivated people and within a 9 day period deflate them so utterly, it may certainly be qualified as an epic human resource failure, and oddly enough many in charge of this year's season are patting themselves on the back for their unique ability to drag their future co-workers through he dirt (and they are expected to all be buddies and pals at the end of this 6 week period...talk about delusional thinking).  The foundations for trust relationships in the context of the chief's mess have been fundamentally damaged, and in their place, resentment filled adversarial relationships are budding.

I know I'm not in the majority here, but it is my personal feeling that these antiquated naval practices need to be phased out.  Just because something is a tradition doesn't mean it is sacred or useful- time changes and predominant schools of  societal thought evolve.  Don't get me wrong, I think learning about naval tradition, doing physical training, and even the silly memorization can be great team building tools as long as they are presented in an appropriate manner.  The emphasis should be shifted from bullying to teaching new chiefs how to be responsible professional stewards of junior sailors.  Setting people up for failure is irresponsible managerial behavior, and after 6 weeks of brow beating, new chiefs are then put in charge of junior sailors and the 'sh*t rolls down hill' prophecy continues.  All you have to do is look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs to know that threats and and an environment of instability isn't going to create an atmosphere for development and learning.  Many of the chief selects have been honorably serving their country for 12+ years, they have demonstrated their great professional worth, and they certainly don't need another "boot camp".  It's time to wake up, live in the now, and stop dwelling on and clinging to outdated "traditions" that have no place in today's armed service or any other professional organization. 

 

The Cat is Outta The Bag!

I was going to wait a little while longer to post about John's big news on  Saturday until I had more information to give, but considering he's already been receiving congratulations from old shipmates from 5+ years ago, I figure I better post something ASAP!

After 3 years in Yokosuka and over 3-1/2 years on the Stethem, all of the frustration, heartache, freaking out, and tears finally paid off as John found out on Saturday morning that he had been selected to become a chief!  It was amazing news for us both to get and I couldn't be prouder!  After the draw down in his rating in 2007 we were both discouraged at the advancement outlook.  Although there was only a 6% advancement rate for HT's this year, we were thrilled to find out he was one of them!!

The next 6 weeks promise to be challenging as he goes through his initiation into the Chief's Mess and pulls together with all of the other USS Cable chief selects to get through this exciting, memorable, albeit trying, time in their professional lives.   Neither of us is exactly sure what to expect from the initiation process, but after what we went through aboard the Stethem I can't really image what they could throw at us that we won't be prepared for!  I'll be sure to post updates as I can!

CONGRATS HTC (SEL) LYKINS!!!

Deja Vu!

I had a serious OPSEC laugh out loud moment about a week ago while we were staying at the Days Inn Tamuning and the daily local paper announced the USS Kitty Hawk was on its way to Guam. 

Although the Kitty Hawk has officially left Yokosuka to be decommissioned, it feels like Yokosuka is following us!  John and I made our first exploratory trip to Tumon Bay today and it was absolutely teeming with Japanese tourists and Kitty Hawk sailors.  It was a really unusual feeling; like a tropical Honch! 

Between the island wide legal drinking age of 18 and the obvious theme of the numerous welcome banners, I think there may be an alcohol shortage on the island by the time the Kitty Hawk and its fellow Yokosuka based ships pull out.

PCS aka- Positively Chaotic System

I've had many hours to ponder PCS-ing recently as I sit and fill out paperwork, wait on hold with airlines and government offices, and drive back and forth to and from Yokosuka to tie up all our loose transitional ends.  Although the Navy does provide various relocation services, getting access to them and getting reliable information on how to trek through the red tape maze seems nigh impossible at times!  I have to admit I've become a real bull dog when it comes to getting what I need to move our little family of 4 from this island to the next.

In just one week from today we'll be spending our last night in our little Negishi house and then turning in our keys for good.   The upcoming week is going to be packed with action as we scramble to get everything prepared for our departure from Japan and arrival in Guam.  Traversing the government gauntlet that lies ahead will be trial in patience that we are both steeling ourselves for, yet I have to say, in spite of some unfavorable circumstances, I feel just about as prepared as I can be.

John finally arrived home on Monday from his final Stethem underway of 47 days, but has only spent two evenings at home since his homecoming as the ship doesn't seem to give him a moment's peace, even in the midst of a PCS move.  We hope the upcoming 3-day weekend will finally allow us to get on the same page with the move since we are down to the wire and still basically communicating only through rushed cell phone conversations and e-mail.

Even amid all of the stress and business I've been able to take a couple days to get out of the house and see some of Japan!  I made a phenomenal trip to DisneySea with friends and then took a tour to the Nikko Samurai Parade this past Sunday.  I've got lots of great pictures and stories to post about when things finally settle down a little.

I hope to get another post or two up before we get on the plane, but if not, then we'll soon be sending our greetings from GUAM!!   

Counting Down in Seconds Now...

"That's alls I can stands, and I can't stands no more." — Popeye

A sentiment that echos from one salty sailor to another...in fact the one in my very own house.  As John woke up extra early for yet another underway this morning, after being home just a few days, I think he's finally reached his limit.  Yeah, yeah, we know it's 7th Fleet, we know it's unusually arduous, we've even come to understand just what high operational tempo entails...but everyone reaches there limit sometime.  After a long conversation in the wee hours while it was still dark outside, once again my sailor did his painstaking duty of packing up his clothes and heading to the ship that's become the bane of his existence.  It breaks my heart to see a man who has always been so full of life and energy mentally and emotionally beaten and pummeled into constant frowns and true, genuine despair. 

I was really worried about him when he left this house this morning.  When I finally got out of bed to start the rest of my day, I knew that unshakable spirit of his was persevering as I found a wonderful little countdown chart from him that ticks down his time left on the Stethem...down to the second.  As of February 26, 2008 at 8:45:58 he has 8,262,942 seconds remaining before checkout.  For those who don't want to pull out their calculators that translates into .262 years OR 3.19 months OR 14 weeks OR 96 days OR 2.311 hours OR 137,729 minutes.  No matter how you slice it, the end is in sight!  I just hope my sailor doesn't pull another all time classic Popeye move and slug someone in the eye before it's all said and done. Almost there.  Almost there.

Letting Go of the Magic Feather

“Dumbo! C'mon, fly! Open those ears! The magic feather was just a gag! You can fly! Honest you can!”

- Timothy Q. Mouse, Dumbo 1941

There are days when both John and I feel that enduring one more day attached to the Stethem will cost both of us our sanity.  Every time we think leadership has oozed and rotted down to a new mind-numbingly ignorant low, the twisting nether of inefficiency, bias, and unprofessionalism opens up like a black hole into Hades and brings us to a deeper understanding of just how awful and thoughtless the smooth brained Neanderthals that comprise a handful of people in his chain of command can be.

As the spouse of a man I respect more than anything, I know I need to let him take the lead and just support him in his decisions instead of making matters worse by throwing tantrums or stepping in and amplifying his already maxed out stress level… but it’s hard for me to do nothing and just swallow it like yet another big, fat bitter horse pill.   

Today I just had to do something to ease my mind, so I’ve been running around the house this afternoon with frenzied fervor preparing the house for the movers.  I know, I know…they aren’t really coming for another 7 weeks…but I need the visual reminders we are leaving and this is all just a temporary nightmare from which we’ll soon wake.

In the process of ripping all the closets apart in an effort to purge and organize, I’ve come across so many things I haven’t even touched in the almost 3 years we’ve been here.  Things that I think I packed just because I was so scared about being away from home.  I was so afraid of coming here I just couldn’t let go of stupid little trinkets and books that I thought somehow would help me in our new life here.  The dust collecting on them is surely evidence to the contrary…still; I just couldn’t let go of all my magic feathers.

  Well, I think it is finally time to let them go.  I’ve spent the last 3 years figuring out how to fly without them, and I’ve certainly done my share of brain-jarring- face-plows in the cold dirt in an effort to figure out how to make it work.  As we stand on the edge of starting a new life on a new island it is wonderful to feel unafraid and ready to soar!

Paperwork, Pokes, and PCS-ing

Our official PCS move to Guam has been set into motion,  and it has gotten off to a bit of a painful start for the dogs and me since it was overseas screening day (round 1) for me yesterday, and rabies shots for the dogs today.  They've got to get another round of shots before the flight, but since Guam is now considering Japan a rabies-free zone, it cuts down on A LOT of time, money, and paperwork for importing them to our new home.

I'm running just a tiny fever this afternoon as a result of my injections from yesterday, but oddly I don't even mind as I sit at the computer and dig into winter session work at school.  My shots are just a little band-aid covered reminder that we're on our way outta Stethem territory <insert fist-pumping dance of joy here>!!  Not to be a stinker, but finally some folks back stateside are picking up and taking notice of some of the horrible policies E-6 and below families are put through as part of the "invasive leadership" strategy, as an article in Stars & Stripes recently addressed the liberty policy for sailors within the Kitty Hawk Strike Group (just to give you a taste of what we are dying to get away from)!

Although Guam will still be 7th Fleet, it will be a whole new ballgame aboard the Cable...and hopefully my 31 year old husband will no longer have to ask his boss for permission to take me out to dinner should the mood suddenly strike...

Easy, Breezy Island Living...

As some of you already know, John and I finally got our orders...Guam here we come!!  We are both so excited to start planning for our move, although the process is filled with bittersweet emotions.  We've really come to love Japan and the friendships we have formed, however, we can't seem to get away from the unprofessional cesspool that is the USS Stethem fast enough! By the time John separates from the Stethem, he will have logged 3 years and 8 months at the command...definitely time to move on down the road!

We're both going to do our best to absorb as much Japanese culture as we can in the next 5 months, and luckily the island of Guam has lots of Japanese tourism and cultural influence, so we'll still be able to stay connected to the country we've come to adore so much!  In fact, we'll only be a 3-1/2 hour flight from Tokyo, so it will be easy to take vacations back to all our favorite spots.  Ok, hint hint to friends and family looking to travel in the South Pacific, Guam is a great central hub...just check out these flight times!!  <ps-we like visitors>  John and I are certainly going to take advantage of our location to visit places like Australia, Bali, and Palau. 

One of the things that has got me most excited about Guam is the thriving hospitality and tourism industry that exists on the island.  I'll be finishing up my hotel and restaurant management degree during our time there, so I can't wait to really get back to work in a way I have not been able to do here.   

The past 6 months have been really tough, and as my mother can attest to..filled with tears, middle of the night hysterical fits, everything in between.  Yet, the waiting game is over!  As Captain Jack would say, "Mr. Gibbs...We Have Our Heading!!"